Tuesday, April 14, 2009 ' 18:34
here i am again at home all alone. feeling so fucking bored. i seriously don't know what to do. been you-tubing and all but am still feeling the boredom. so i thought why not blog a bit and just blah the time away. i thought of changing my blog layout but feeling kinda lazy. it's so tideous. well, for me at least. i want something dark and plain. just like my life. haha. i guess i'm just gonna stick to the current one for now. it's not that bad you know. i really like the simplicity of it. been having it eversince i started to blog. it's cool. anyways, i wonder if that bitch is over it. probably not. maybe she's just like that asshole checking up my blog. sheesh. get a life people. my blog is a boring one. so quit checking it up. have you guys forgotten that my life is not as COLOURFUL as yours. lol. so umm, i'm kinda confused right now and the song "so confused" by raghav is the perfect song for me now. yeah, obviously i like someone. the situation is soooo complicated. i'm not sure if she knows it. okay, i'm trying to open up here. so yeah, i do get attracted to girls. let's not question my sexuality here. it's verrry confusing and complicated. i think she sort of is aware of my feelings for her but i don't know. i don't want her to freak out or step away from me. i just want things to be like this for now. i'm not ready for any commitment just yet. if only i knew how she feel. not about me but in general. about me liking her and stuffs like that. i don't think what i'm feeling is abnormal. it's absolutely normal if you're attracted to the same gender. you're bound to. the question is when. that's all. and for me, it's now. simple as that. i don't understand why some people say that i love practically every girl. that is soooo not true. i may like or hold feelings for them but i've never loved a girl before. you know, as in love, love kinda thing. see, told you it's complicated. sheesh, maybe i'll heed an advice from a friend. just take things slowly but be persistent though. (:
